Indonesian Taco

Here it is!

Halftime!

Earlier today, my village treated me to an exhibition of their favorite sport "congklak kaki", a game that I could only describe as some cross between soccer and mancala, where liberal amounts of bones and beads are kicked about every which way. I never could figure out what was happening, that is, until halftime. When the teams sat down on their respective sides of the field for some fluids and strategy, the halftime dancers appeared to do their dance and throw t-shirts to me and everyone else on the stools and benches around the field.

What a show! The girls showed up, wearing traditional tribal gear - feathers, hides, bones, leaves, etc. - and busted down to "My Humps" playing from a boombox.

It just goes to show that humans around the world are truly, essentially the same. Here are some pictures from the halftime show during the NBL semifinals in Surabaya, from earlier this week:

Going crazy!

The Jester in my yard

How To: High Fives

When sharing high fives:
Do: Jump and dance excitedly to build up the moment
Don't: Run out in front of my legs. I don't want to run over any kids.

Do: Shout something friendly, or sing a song you've written about me.
Don't: Shout at me from behind a bush. Be a man and celebrate with me.

Do: Hold that hand high!
Don't: Have rice or dirt on the hand you extend to me. It's a little gross.

Do: Run with me.
Don't: Look at me holding your wiener through your pants - you'd be surprised how often this happens.

Do: Give high fives all night
Don't: Use drugs.

Here is a picture of a kid who flipped for me when I ran by:

Justin Bieber, Naked Celebrities, Sex Tape, Carmelo Anthony, Democratic Revolution, Transformers 3, Yogurt Dude

These are the hot topics for the week.  Have you been to hot topic lately?  They're still pumping out the goods!

Here is a bear playing guitar.

High Fives!!!

Being a former All-Star NFL player-turned-ethnographer, I'm used to getting high fives. I've probably had more high fives than anyone I know. During the NFL days, it was constant fives, thumps, pumps, and cups - nothing keeps the team strong like cupping the butt. The fives, the bumps, the contact, it gives you a high and makes you feel worthwhile. When I exited the game in my athletic prime, my biggest concern was the loss of the fives. Maybe that's why I became an ethnographer - to wander the third world where people will break out into music and dance at just the sight of me. Chimi! Bumbaye!

So while pissing in a urinal at the bar the other night, some local drunkard - with a former-navy current-politician mustache who happens to be my idol and best friend - pissing in the urinal next to mine, raised his hand and shouted something in some unknown tongue and raised his hand up towards me - he wanted a high five, WHILE PISSING. Done.

I could build some mood, noting the neon lights, the shady women in tight dresses, the slight aroma of sewage in the air, the pirate and his prostitute at the next table, the baby sitting on top of the table in the other direction ...  wait, I'm doing the mood thing. Nothing matters. I got a high five while pissing and now I can die. That's it. I've high fived all over the world with women, kids, sexy women, and even women in the villages, but this tops them all.

What have you done with your life?

M is for Motorboat