Penis Muscles

Sometimes when I go to gyms in the third world, I stumble upon this familiar poster. It is of my uncle, Judd Kingfisher, and his wife in an 80s ad campaign for steroids, if I remember correctly. He gave me a copy of this poster for Christmas when I was a kid, and it was on my wall all the way through high school.

Imagine how weird it must feel getting boners for your aunt. She was not related by blood, but still, it confused me. Even more difficult was the sheer intimidation of my uncle's sculpted body. That's what I thought was normal. That's what I competed with. Nothing less than a rip like his would be good enough. If you weren't cut, you would never get hot chicks like my aunt.

I remember when I finally surpassed uncle Judd - when my muscles were bigger and I first posed in a poster, with TWO hot chicks. I never gave him that poster; the poster I gave him was of me knocking over defenders as I bulldozed into the endzone for 6 in the All Star game. Uncle Judd was already dead by then. I put the poster on his grave, in honor of the high standard he set for me.

Funny story about uncle Judd. He told me that his junk never shrunk from the steroids. Seriously. He said he was able to counter the shrink with muscles - penis muscles. Then he would squeeze his penis muscles into his shrunken testes, which made everything look normal. That's kind of cool.