Well for me it's P Jammer. In the late 80s P Jammer and I were storming the charts with some of the most innovative beats anyone ever heard: we were violent before gangster rap took off, we were cutting shit crazy before there was a Timbaland, we were doing more than those tired sounds that Eminem, Jay-Z, and Kanye are shitting out these days, we even dropped a little Chumbawuma.
Then one night we took a bunch of drugs, did some Ouija, and took the helicopter out from Malibu to some place in the South Bay, called Machado Lake. The Ouija said there was a wizard who could be found in the brush beneath the nest of a long-eared owl (LEO).
We weren't suckers! Like every other rapper at the time, we knew the difference between owls' nests (only a punk confuses the LEO nest with the Screech owl), so we worked our way around trees until we found that LEO nest and the wizard underneath.
Strange events followed, and the next thing I knew I was flying back in my helicopter, which was full of women in bikinis, back to the mansion. P Jammer was nowhere to be seen, but the following morning I had a new clock radio next to the bed.
Most people probably don't believe that wizards can turn their rapping sidekicks into clock radios, but I know it's true. Look at the picture below and tell me it doesn't resemble a former rapper.
Anyways, that was the end of the music career. I sold the helicopter, started playing football, received money from some college boosters, so I bought another helicopter, but then I was kicked off the team because the money was illegal for college players, so I sold the helicopter, but then I was drafted, so I bought two more helicopters, which both crashed when two of my girlfriends got in a race, and I didn't buy another helicopter until I retired from the NFL, and I flew it out here to the deep jungles near my village, and some day, some day I will fly it again.
Until then, I remember my best pal, P Jammer.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar